


stay here with me a couple more days

by risingtides



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gen, i dont know how to process pain like this, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 16:04:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3615942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/risingtides/pseuds/risingtides
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>zayn leaves one direction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	stay here with me a couple more days

**Author's Note:**

> im just really sad about zayn leaving so i had to get something out. my feelings live vicariously through one direction. this isn't very good/hardly proofread but whatever ya know.

The last few months had been anything but easy for Zayn, unable to quiet the looming decision over his head. He struggled to weigh the pros and cons of each side, but as his mood continued to worsen and his happiness continued to lack on stage and off, Zayn knew he had to make the decision that would be best for him, even if it meant hurting the fans he loved so dearly.

Before the tour started, around the holidays - two months before the start of On The Road Again - Zayn had sat down with the boys and to express his feelings to them, none of them really expecting what was about to come. Having already discussed it with Simon and Modest! the only thing left to do was lay it down on the boys.

"Hey guys, I'm sorry I pulled everyone away from their families especially around this time of year, but I just, uh, I have something important to tell you all." he stammers, suddenly feeling very nervous. He hoped going in that none of the boys would get angry with him, but the voice in the back of his mind said otherwise, that they would tell him how selfish he was.

"Alright, mate, let's hear it." Niall says, gesturing a hand to Zayn to encourage him to speak further. None of them were sure what exactly Zayn wanted to speak about. Sure, they had noticed his shift in mood and the air surrounding his relationship was anything but pleasant with the latest rumours.

Zayn squirms in his seat, suddenly feeling very hot, forced to stand to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling. "Well, just, just first please hear me out, alright? I just want you guys to listen to me, hear me out." he says, pausing to regain composure before he completely loses it. "Alright, it's just that, lately I haven't been so happy, you know? And I know that stress comes with this job, this life, and that doesn't mean I don't think I'm extremely lucky, because I am, and I'm so grateful for this experience and all-"

"Woah, slow down there, Z, just take it easy," Harry murmurs, standing up and meeting his eyes. They were dark and shifty, certainly nervous, causing Harry to frown. "Just tell us what's wrong, we're all here to listen. Just tell us."

That's when the waterworks turn on and Zayn is rubbing furiously to get rid of them, to keep his composure for just a few more minutes so that he can just get it out. "Just, lately I've been so unhappy and I think the best thing for me right now, and for the band, so that I don't keep bringing you guys down because you four are so wonderful, is... is for me to leave." he pauses, taking in the finality of his statement, "I just don't think I want to do this anymore."

Harry keeps his hand on Zayn's shoulder, unsure of how to process the information. He knows Zayn doesn't mean taking a break, leaving for a little while to relieve stress. He wants out for good.

The rest of the boys stand up to join the embrace that Harry is pulling Zayn into while Louis, Liam, and Niall surround them and complete the group that is soon to be minus one. They pull away to look between each other before looking back at Zayn, who is only slightly surprised by the reaction. 

"We understand, Zayn," Liam starts, pausing to gather his thoughts, not wanting to picture the band without Zayn in it, "It'll be hard but we respect your decision. You'll always be one of our best friends no matter what." he finishes with a smile, glancing between the guys who give him approving nods because they know that no one could've said it better than Liam, the best spoken of the group. Louis musters a quiet laugh through his tears, wiping at them while Zayn proceeds to hug him. The transition will be tough, but he's just glad that his four friends are willing to back him in whatever he does.

-

The five of them figured this day would come eventually, though it always seemed farther away than it really was. Five years is an incredible amount of time for a boy band like One Direction; to last that long without a member leaving. Zayn never thought he would be the first to go, always saying how his life would be nothing without One Direction, that it was either all five of them or no band at all, yet here he was.

Because the tour had already been announced, Zayn agreed to take part in the first few legs of the tour so he could at least go out with a bang, in the middle of doing what he loved in front of millions of people whom he adored. The Australian leg started of great, yet as rumours began to flurry surrounding his relationship with Perrie, some Photoshopped photographs of him with other girls began appearing on the internet and the rumours turned into a blizzard. A quick Twitter check in turned into an endless scroll through tweets to him, calling him a dirty liar and cheater and 'How dare you do that to Perrie!" and a bunch of other slurs he would rather not bring up. His mood began to crash and he had never felt so low in his entire life.

Perhaps this fame was never meant for him. He was deemed a troublemaker from the start just because of his look and it gradually got worse. He and Louis were the "misfits" of the group because they came from large families and liked to smoke weed from time to time - he couldn't have cared less about that video getting out. With tattoos up and down his arms, a cigarette between his lips twenty four-seven, and his dark mystique, it was only a matter of time where the boy band life wasn't for him. He had to live his own life where he could what he wanted without being dictated on what to wear, what to say, how to think, how to act to appeal to this group, Zayn had had enough.

-

His last tweet had been about Perrie, attempting to get a piece of his mind out on the cheating rumours surrounding him as of recently. Truthfully this was the last straw for him; he was tired of leading a life with flashing cameras and no privacy. With an upcoming wedding and the desire to start a family, the last thing Zayn wanted to do was be in the spotlight 24/7. For the first time since before the X Factor, he wanted to feel like a normal human being. He wanted to feel like a normal 22 year-old, despite how impossible that may be.

When the statement was officially released, a weight was lifted off of Zayn's shoulders. He realized that tomorrow there would be no planes, no rehearsals, no screaming fans, just quiet. He would wake up like he was never a pop-star, minus his millions of Twitter followers and the pleads to come back to the band.

That was the worst part of it all, having to read through distraught fans' tweets and comments. How could he remember what he was doing this for when millions of fans were upset, angry with him, disappointed that one of the people who had made the music that got them through tough times was gone? When people are tweeting about One Direction being only 4/5 and how they "didn't pay to see 4/5" and you feel terrible because you've let a massive amount of people down, yet you refuse to tweet a word, waiting for the initial shock to die down before making your own comment.

For the first time he was separate from One Direction and it felt like a part of him was lost. He needed this for himself, to lead the life he wanted to.


End file.
